Tying up loose ends.

I’m one of the few people I know who take birthdays very seriously.

Not only the celebration and gift and cake side of it (although I think that is essential!) but the significance of moving into a new year. It feels, to me, like a fresh start. Each year has such a specific character to it, each age is so distinct (in my mind) that it always makes me wonder what a new year will bring…

It also makes me tie up any loose ends before the year begins.
How important this is! I didn’t realise how much all these small things were bugging me until I started getting them out the way. It’s so liberating! And now today I’m getting a  haircut (ladida!) and seeing if I can find myself a party frock for my Birthday Tea Party on Saturday.

I’ve also been reflecting, though, on what an epic year my 25th has been. Had my first novel published, signed a US publishing contract, became diabetic, quit my first job, started a freelance career, travelled to Malawi, created this life of my dreams. I think I sometimes take it for granted how amazing it is to be doing exactly what I want to be doing every day. Oh! And that’s another thing. Finished my second novel. Yip. The first draft is being sent to my agent tomorrow. It’s only the first draft, so it’s the first step along a very long road, but it’s pretty exciting. I think it’s going to be called Spectacularly Ordinary.

Oh yes! And I’m in two magazines this month (which is actually a bit cringe-worthy for me because I’m never too fond of pictures of myself!). I wrote a Life Lesson for Real Simple magazine about how diabetes made me change my life, and I wrote a piece on Hope for Psychologies magazine. I’ll scan them in soon and put them up on the website so you can see…

So that’s where I am today. My last day as a 25-year-old and I have to say I’m pretty thrilled with where things are standing.
That’s the other big news, of course, which I’ll have to write about in further detail next week - I’m moving in with my man. Leaving my charming garden cottage and finding a two bedroom place for us to share… (actually, hopefully found the place already, just waiting for confirmation!)

So it looks like an exciting start to my 26th year!

Don’t worry, you’ll be hearing alllll about it!

It’s written in the stars…

Yip, I’m talking about astrology.

Wait! Before you think I’ve sold myself down the river for a magazine horoscope, hear me out.
I’m talking the real deal, the Queen of Astrology: Susan Miller.
You can scoff all you like, but this woman knows what she’s talking about. I’ve been reading her monthly forecasts since last year, and it is uncanny how accurately she predicts things happening. And not things that I have control over (like those cheesy ones that say ‘if you eat more fruit and vegetables you will feel healthier!’)

She told me when my book launch was going to be last year (to the day!) and predicted that I would have great news surrounding publishing and my agent within a few days of my US book deal this year. She’s the real deal!

Of course, as all astrologers, she also mentions getting engaged a lot, so don’t get too excited if you’re waiting for your man to pop the question!

What I like about her, too, though, is that she’s chatty and friendly and sometimes rather amusing. Reading my monthly horoscope has become a lovely little ritual to ease me into a new month. And seeing as this is my favourite month of all, and it’s my BIRTHDAY the day after TOMORROW (I’m a little bit excited, can you TELL?) I’m feeling more than a little chuffed about the wonders that this month is going to bring me!

Check her out: http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/

The Art of Calm…

So after five days of yoga every evening from 6.30pm to 9pm, I’m feeling a lot calmer.
A lot bendier, too, and my mind seems to have stilled its ceaseless chattering (at least for a while).

It was wonderful! If any of you ever have the chance to do a Sri Sri Yoga course, please do. It’s a combination of meditation, breathing, hatha yoga and getting to know yourself again. Intense stillness is a rare and wonderful thing! Check out www.srisriyoga.co.za for more information.

There were a whole host of things I learnt, and that I want to internalise, but just for today I’d like to share with you one that I call the Art of Calm. One of the teachers was telling us how doing her morning  yoga /breathing makes such a difference to her day, because when she does she can see that her emotions come and go, but that her essence is much deeper. Her thoughts fly around her head, but her essence is much deeper. Life happens to her, but her essence is much deeper.
And what happens when you realise this (she said) is that you stop getting so stressed about things, because you recognise that they will pass. Emotions and events and thoughts, they will all pass, leaving your deeper, more wonderful essence behind.

Isn’t this a relief?
I think it is! To recognise that we are in the midst of a sea of happenings, but we don’t have to drown with each one.

Women. Love. 2008.

I know this is totally out of theme with the rest of the week’s posts (sorry!) but I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I’d really love to get some feedback on how other women feel about it…

It seems to me that women and love in 2008 are in a bit of a sticky situation. Here’s why -
I’ve spoken to a number of my friends who all seem to be voicing the same thing. Here we are (we being women) in a world where we can pretty much do anything for ourselves. We have our own jobs, our own cars, even (if we’re smart and savings-savvy) our own property. We live alone, drive alone, cook alone, socialise alone. But when it comes to love, all that independence is whisked away.

It’s still not right for a woman to make the first move (at least in South Africa, I’m not sure about other countries). Even if there’s a connection, we have to sit by and wait for the man to decide to get in touch. And once something has started, it’s up to him to make the call on what it is (a relationship, a fling, a ‘friends with benefits’). Isn’t this weird?

Continue on into a relationship, and not too much changes. Things are obviously a lot more honest and straightforward, but women still have to wait to be proposed to, and can’t rush anything for fear of scaring men off.

I find this so funny! Here we are, totally strong and independent and together, but we can’t make any moves in the game of love for fear of scaring the man off.

What do you think? Is this actually the case, or have I just been analysing it too long?! Feedback much appreciated.

I take my own advice!

I’ve been working pretty much non-stop on the new novel lately, but I’ve finally reached a point where I can let it breathe for a day or two and do some Real Work (i.e. work that gives me money, which I love!).

I woke up this morning raring to go - spent three or four hours online doing research (and thus checking my mail more than my customary once a morning) and subsequently felt exhausted. So many email voices in my head shouting for attention, so much information swirling around my mind, and a distinct lack of calm.

Instead of forging on, though (as the Old Bridget would have done), I took my own advice. New Bridget is much more fun to be around.

I switched off my computer.
Did a breathing exercise from my yoga class.
Made a really delicious (and healthy) lunch.
Sat outside in the sunshine to eat it, slowly, luxuriously.
And then spent half an hour lying on my hammock reading.

Now I’m back in front of my computer, determined to finish the work, but feeling calm and together and peaceful and as if my brain might actually cooperate!
And all in the space of an hour.
Wonderful!

Any chance you could take an hour out to be sweet to yourself today?
I dare you!

Breathing…

Amazing, isn’t it, that we need reminders to breathe.

I’m doing a Sri Sri Yoga course every night this week (last night was the first) and I’m amazed how much the teachers need to remind us to breathe. They told us last night that something ridiculous like 80% of the toxins in our body are released by the breath, but we’re only using one third of our lung capacity so most of those toxins stay trapped in our bodies.

I really love doing yoga - hatha yoga, that is. It’s so peaceful, such a break from the chaotic everyday world, such a treat to be stretching, slowly, and remembering the different parts of my body.  The course is all about yoga as an exercise, and as a lifestyle. So we have to drink lots of water, cut down on red meat and eat loads of fresh food this week. Pretty much what I’m doing anyway, but it’s always nice to be reminded.

I’m beginning to think, though, that that’s what wisdom is: remembering all these things without being reminded. Remembering to be good to ourselves, remembering to eat well, remembering to breathe, deeply, in and out.
And in, and out.
And in, and out.

The times they are a’changing…

I’d like to talk about change.

It’s a funny thing, isn’t it? Inevitable, but still somehow surprising when it happens. Who was it who said that the only thing we can be certain of is that nothing is certain? I believe that.

And in some ways, I like it. I’m anti-stagnation, anti-getting-used-to-things, so I think that there is a definite beauty in the natural shifts that life forces us into. At the same time, I’m also a nester, and I like things to be ‘just so’, so I’m often not quite so comfortable when the ground beneath my feet starts moving and I don’t know where it’s going to settle…

I think the key, though, is to be certain of a few immutable facts in life. To know who you are, and who you want to become, to know how you feel about life (even if it’s only a vague theme, even if it’s only for this month). To be centered inside yourself. Because then, when the ground starts shifting, you won’t fall over. You’ll be able to balance, centered, strong, until things settle again. And when they do there’ll be a whole new world to explore.

I guess that’s what I love about change: the possibility inherent in it. There is only so long we can explore one stage of our lives before we need (actually need) things to shake up a bit. And sometimes we’re just a little too comfortable to initiate that shaking. Sometimes we need someone, or something, else to do it for us.

So here I am, Monday morning, embracing change! I’ll let you know how it goes…

Good news!

How starved are we for good news?

I know I count myself as a strange head-in-the-clouds minority in that I don’t read the newspaper or watch the news, and I’m not up to date with all the terrible things going on in the world, but to be honest, it’s a much nicer world I live in.
Obviously, I know the big stuff. I know that Obama beat Hillary, I know that Mugabe is evil and arresting his competition at every turn, I know that we have a slight problem with our electricity provider in this country…

But everyone knows this! It filters down to us through the air.
And reading newspapers really does nothing but fill me with angst and negativity and fear. I really believe this. Until there’s a newspaper with an evenly weighted good-news, bad-news ratio, I’m not interested.

That said, I have just found a website dedicated only to good news about South Africa. Isn’t this incredible? For those of us in the country, and for those overseas who only ever hear horror stories about SA, I think this is essential reading. Check it out at http://www.sagoodnews.co.za/ for real life stories about why South Africa is a powerful, positive place to live in.

Besides anything else, I think it is so important to focus on what is good and true and positive because of the powerful Law of Attraction. If you’re living in a world filled with despair and hatred, it’s inevitable that you’re going to draw more of that to you…

I, for one, am not interested in that kind of world. No thank you very much.

Why don’t we look after ourselves?

I know, I know, it’s a common theme for me. But I think we need reminding, a lot of the time.

Why aren’t we kinder to ourselves? Why don’t we treat ourselves as well as we would our best friends? Why do we let ourselves get tired and feed ourselves bad food and work too hard?

What are we trying to prove?

The weather here in Cape Town is now officially Cold (with a capital C). While I’m not the biggest fan of winter, it does make me a lot more introspective and, as a result of that, a lot sweeter to myself. I like eating really delicious meals, sleeping enough, and curling up with a book or a movie. It’s almost as if the weather forces me to slow down. I like that.
Of course, winter also encourages mild depression and over-eating, so it’s not something to be taken lightly!

What I would like to offer you is a permission slip to take the time to look after yourself. A gentle reminder to stop the ceaseless activity, look inside, and whisper a couple of sweet words to yourself.

I guarantee you deserve it.

Where have you hidden your excuses?

Writing a novel is such an interesting process, on so many levels.

Besides all the ones that you’d expect - concentration, belief in yourself, quieting down to listen to the characters - there are a whole range of other challenges that pop their unruly heads up.
What’s been so fascinating for me is seeing these little monsters and asking them to go away.

When you’re sitting on your own for a couple of hours every morning in a quiet cottage with just a laptop for company, it’s amazing how quickly your mind wants to escape. Take away the distraction of email, and it looks for other escape routes. Cell phone? No thank you. Music? Not today thanks. Sleepy? Nope, slept enough last night. Cup of tea? Only twice a morning, thank you very much.

So what’s next? What excuses can you come up with to stop doing what you know needs to be done? Phantom illness, perhaps, or emotional distress. A sudden urgency to clean. There will always always always be something that needs doing, and if you’re looking for it hard enough it will demand to be done right now. Or else.

But here’s where the real living comes in, I think. Because it would be very easy for our lives to descend into nothing more than a meaningless string of small doings, an endless to do list of minutiae. How much more wonderful, and remarkable, and powerful to say no to all these monsters and to focus on the task at hand, whatever it might be. How much more beautiful to choose to do something and do it with all your heart…

So today I challenge you to take a step back and take a look at your life. Where have you hidden your excuses? And what are they stopping you from doing?